TrashPanda7 (original poster new member #86753) posted at 2:36 PM on Tuesday, March 31st, 2026
For those that found their spouse was a poor candidate for R, how long did it take for you to accept this? What made you realize this?
If you decided to end things because of this, how did it feel, how did things turn out, how do you feel now?
I'm my situation, my spouse is saying the right things, however they are typically reactionary and not initiated by her. Her actual actions are showing me she is not a good candidate for R.
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 11:43 PM on Tuesday, March 31st, 2026
My xWS was a poor candidate for R from go. It was me that had a hard time accepting it. I had a major fear of breaking up the family and D. It took me a few years to accept it. When False R hit I knew without a doubt I didn't want to be married to him anymore but had just lost my job and didn't have the means to leave just yet. Took another 5 years of limbo, got myself really strong in therapy and independent with a job when I finally pulled the plug.
For me it felt great to end things. I was stuck in a bad marriage with an NPD serial cheater who abused me sexually and emotionally. Today I feel like I have a second chance at life. I have peace of mind and for the most part I am very happy. Was one of the best decisions I have made for myself in life.
If the actions don't line up with the words, the words will become hollow and you will probably build resentment which typically can lead you to falling out of love.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
