SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Saw this on fb today. Don't know who wrote it.

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Things that make her lose interest… and once she’s lost interest, it’s hard to get it back.
It’s not because she’s "too emotional" or "too hard to please." It’s because she knows what it feels like to love fully, to show up wholeheartedly, and she refuses to keep pouring into someone who drains her instead of filling her.
She loses interest when you lie....because the moment trust is broken, everything feels uncertain. She’s not the type to play detective in her own relationship, and if she has to question your words, your actions, or your loyalty, she’s already halfway out the door.
She loses interest when you can’t communicate. Silence is loud. Avoidance is exhausting. She wants real conversations, honesty, openness....not a man who shuts down or disappears when things get hard.
She loses interest when you ignore her. Not replying, not calling, acting like her presence is optional… that makes her feel invisible. And a woman who loves deeply won’t beg for attention. She’ll simply stop expecting it.
She loses interest when you go hours without texting, without checking in, without making her feel thought of. She doesn’t need constant attention, but she deserves to feel like she crosses your mind throughout the day… not like an afterthought once you’re bored.
She loses interest when you’re too busy for her. She understands life gets hectic. She knows you have work, responsibilities, obligations. But no one is ever "too busy" for someone they truly want. If you won’t make time for her, she’ll stop making time for you.
She loses interest when you offer no reassurance. Love isn’t just what you say in the beginning....it’s what you prove every day. If she’s left wondering where she stands, if she has to guess how you feel, if you can’t provide security, she’ll quietly detach.
She loses interest when you make her feel like a second option. She knows she deserves to be prioritized, not tolerated. She won’t compete for attention, affection, or respect. If you treat her like she’s easily replaceable, she’ll show you she’s irreplaceable by leaving.
She loses interest when you show no effort. Love isn’t hard, but it takes effort. Showing up, being consistent, doing the little things.....it matters. If you stop trying, she’ll stop caring.
And the thing is… she won’t make a scene. She won’t argue, beg, or explain over and over. She’ll simply pull back. Little by little. Quieter and quieter. Until one day, you’ll realize she’s not asking for your time anymore… not waiting for your call… not hoping for your attention.
She’s gone.
And by the time you notice, it’ll be too late.
Because once she loses interest, she won’t fight to get it back.
She’ll just find peace in the space where your effort used to be.

My W and I have friends that are on the verge of D. There isn’t any infidelity they just don’t communicate effectively. After they became empty nesters he poured more effort into his work while his W is feeling left behind. Left behind without a purpose, she poured everything into her family and now it’s just silent.

I am going to share this with them. There is still hope that they can get through it.

Thanks for sharing

In general, I agree with the point of the FB poster. A person in a relationship needs to nurture the relationship to make it grow and continue.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:26 PM, Wednesday, May 7th]

Maybe I'm too old school but:

She loses interest when you go hours without texting, without checking in, without making her feel thought of.

I don't agree with this, this is has only been a thing since cell phones. Lots of people have jobs where they really can't do this, and it doesn't mean they don't love someone.

I don't think we really need to nitpit the writing piece by piece. Perhaps that is important to the author, and not so much to others. I personally don't need constant contact throughout the day either, and I'm not into cell phones (gasp!) and texting (double gasp!) at all and actually still have an old flip phone for emergencies only that is never even turned on unless I need it. I actually lost it for 6 months and didn't even know it until I found it in the lining of an old purse, and realized I guess I hadn't seen it since the previous season.

That said, the occasional call or email for no reason is nice.

And the overall point is valid. A garden needs to be watered and fertilized and nurtured to grow. A relationship needs that same attention.