CantBeMe123 ( member #67709) posted at 10:17 PM on Friday, June 27th, 2025
I’m surprised at the number of reported "just kissing" affairs above. My wife claims the same, but I didn’t believe her at all. I don’t think that adults stop at kissing when they are excited and attracted. I think when caught, the cheating spouse may confess to kissing and hide the rest? I could be wrong here, I guess.
My wife's story was that she "Just kissed" her AP while drunk when I first found suggestive text messages 15+ years ago. It never felt right to me, I couldn't believe it either, and while we reconciled from the "kiss" I would ask her almost every year, "do you swear you really only kissed that guy?" Just after our 8th wedding anniversary and about 12 years from the actual incident, she confessed it was a lie and that they had sex numerous times (and that she had a few more wayward/EA type moments in the residual years as well without another full blown PA).
My take is this - I would assume the worst and just work from there. I believe that it is most likely, in most cases, they did not "just kiss". Being in this situation is such a mindfuck and so unfair, there are so many questions we will never be able to answer because of the passage of time, and IMO the WS does not deserve the benefits of any doubts, unless they have really gone above and beyond to try to prove it (i.e. polygraph, allowing you to read old diary entries or emails, etc).
Me - BH
Her - WW ("Flawed" on SI)
D-Day 1: March 2006: "We were drunk and we kissed."
D-Day 2: Oct 2018 (12 years later): She voluntarily confessed - It was actually PA that lasted 2-3 months.
