Sophielou (original poster new member #86356) posted at 10:13 PM on Friday, August 1st, 2025
Hi,
So I've seen a few posts about people and identifying the affair partner.
I've been cheated on before, 2/3 times and I've always known who it was and that has made me obsess over the other person and constantly check up on them. To an unhealthy obsession.
This time, I told my partner that I did not want to know who this woman is. I don't know her apparently as I did ask if I had met her/worked with her etc before. All I know is someone I know, knows her friend. I just want to avoid my unhealthy obsession by not knowing, by comparing myself to them, for my own mental health.
Did anyone else not want to know?
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 1:07 AM on Saturday, August 2nd, 2025
I would say most people who are the betrayed would want to know.
The first OW pretended to be my friend.
The second was some random drama Queen "oh my life sucks" millenial he met in a bar.
Funny how the only thing she had on me was she was 20 years younger. He absolutely affaired down lol.
Didn’t stop the obsession for a few months.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 6:23 AM on Saturday, August 2nd, 2025
So you'd be ok with being complicit with the A and not informing OBS?
Informing the OBS isn't a form of punishment. It allows them to make informed decisions on their life choices with the truth.
Adam Levine admitted to cheating on his wife, who used to be a Victoria's Secret underwear model. How do you compare to that? And yet, she was still a victim of infidelity.
The cheater has a broken moral compass and it doesn't appear to matter who their spouse is, they will still cheat.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
